Do I write "This was helpful."? A true statement but woefully weak. I find myself grasping for ANY hopeful words these days.
A question in my mind over these past months is how much of my depression (and current antidepressant medication) is due to my quadruple bypass in March (apparently 70% of such patients end up in depression) and how much is the current state of our country and world.
This morning Rebecca and I read that the DOJ will be barred from investigating the ICE shooting in Biddeford. That only ICE will investigate ICE. I think I would be even more appalled by this if the DOJ hadn't already been fully weaponized by Trump. I have given up questioning how any rational human being (including everyone in the Republican party) can see even any ATTEMPT at justice anymore.
On the other hand, I also note that, whether there is any actual investigation or not, David Brouillette's life is essentially over. He has been outed by his ex-wife. Nationally and internationally identified as a troubled, abusive, damaged individual. Wherever he goes and whatever he seeks to do from this point forward he will be dogged by this. He will carry the weight of this for however long he remains on earth and, once he reaches the other side, he will find an eternity of consequences there, too. Can there be forgiveness for him? Assuredly, but as I find it difficult to believe that God practices mindwiping, he will carry the knowledge of this for eternity.
In short, ICE's activities continue to bring massive disruption, suffering, and abuse with no clear end in sight.
I have been watching my older son this past year now for suicidal ideation. He was working with the TRIO program for several years, feeling deeply called to this work. Coaching and guiding high school students from disadvantaged families into college. Ah, but TRIO is (was) government funded. A phenomenally successful program but . . . no, we need to slash government spending. Except, of course, for what we need to spend on the reflecting pool, and ballrooms. And golfing. He was told he could remain in the position at 2/5's time, since ONE of the two government grants were approved. (Help me to understand the logic of THAT governmental decision?) He still has college debt, so that option wasn't feasible.
He and his wife have also been trying to buy a house for three years. His brother, my younger son, would rent from them.
They can't do it. Three incomes, together, can't provide enough for the purchase of a house in Maine. Thirty-five years ago when I was first ordained Rebecca and I purchased a house, albeit a small row house. Just on my income, as Rebecca worked from home. A brand-new pastor's income and we purchased a house. Now THREE incomes cannot afford a house. My son has told me, "I just want to serve the community and have our own home to enjoy. I really don't see that as remotely possible anymore."
Throughout my life I have known that life is not as it should be. Economic justice, racism, gender inequity, the environment, on and on and on. Yet I also believed we were making progress. We were reducing pollution. We were making strides with employment practices. We were enacting laws that, however clumsy or unequally enforced, were still attempts to make things better.
Microplastics? Forever chemicals? Good thing global warming isn't real and we'd be in danger. Last year as the congregation prepared for Creation Care Sunday I learned that 60% of young people across the world believe that the world will become uninhabitable in their lifetime. My son is among them.
How could so much progress be destroyed so very quickly and cavalierly? Okay, yes, whether at the midterms or some other point in the future the Democrats will return to power. At some point Christ will come again and set all things right. But, until that happens, the pain and destruction will continue and will grow. It will be years if not decades for much of the destruction to be repaired. And, when the Democrats DO return to power, will that pendulum swing just as hard in the opposite direction? Revenge and retribution attained, but at the yet further destruction of the nation? I see little human evidence it will be otherwise.
Many years ago it became clear to Rebecca and I that we will not have grandchildren. For a time that grieved us, not that we even pressured the kids.
Now, now I . . . am thankful that there will not be another generation of our family growing up in this nation. And my saying that makes me terribly sad.
I have no illusion . . . I'm just simply confused. BUT, strangely enough, that "feels" okay. It's part of (but not the whole) my saying that I'm an atheist (small "a" on purpose) but that I trust (pistis) Abba and abide in Christ. Maybe I'm just a mud-baby . . .
Michael. Yes. I wonder if we are all mud babies. No shame in the small a atheist. I often consider myself an agnostic as in the classical sense of without clear knowledge. I live by wonder. Thanks for reading and commenting
I’ve considered myself a Buddhist and a Lutheran for a long, long time ….
I think that may be true of many of us
Do I write "This was helpful."? A true statement but woefully weak. I find myself grasping for ANY hopeful words these days.
A question in my mind over these past months is how much of my depression (and current antidepressant medication) is due to my quadruple bypass in March (apparently 70% of such patients end up in depression) and how much is the current state of our country and world.
This morning Rebecca and I read that the DOJ will be barred from investigating the ICE shooting in Biddeford. That only ICE will investigate ICE. I think I would be even more appalled by this if the DOJ hadn't already been fully weaponized by Trump. I have given up questioning how any rational human being (including everyone in the Republican party) can see even any ATTEMPT at justice anymore.
On the other hand, I also note that, whether there is any actual investigation or not, David Brouillette's life is essentially over. He has been outed by his ex-wife. Nationally and internationally identified as a troubled, abusive, damaged individual. Wherever he goes and whatever he seeks to do from this point forward he will be dogged by this. He will carry the weight of this for however long he remains on earth and, once he reaches the other side, he will find an eternity of consequences there, too. Can there be forgiveness for him? Assuredly, but as I find it difficult to believe that God practices mindwiping, he will carry the knowledge of this for eternity.
In short, ICE's activities continue to bring massive disruption, suffering, and abuse with no clear end in sight.
I have been watching my older son this past year now for suicidal ideation. He was working with the TRIO program for several years, feeling deeply called to this work. Coaching and guiding high school students from disadvantaged families into college. Ah, but TRIO is (was) government funded. A phenomenally successful program but . . . no, we need to slash government spending. Except, of course, for what we need to spend on the reflecting pool, and ballrooms. And golfing. He was told he could remain in the position at 2/5's time, since ONE of the two government grants were approved. (Help me to understand the logic of THAT governmental decision?) He still has college debt, so that option wasn't feasible.
He and his wife have also been trying to buy a house for three years. His brother, my younger son, would rent from them.
They can't do it. Three incomes, together, can't provide enough for the purchase of a house in Maine. Thirty-five years ago when I was first ordained Rebecca and I purchased a house, albeit a small row house. Just on my income, as Rebecca worked from home. A brand-new pastor's income and we purchased a house. Now THREE incomes cannot afford a house. My son has told me, "I just want to serve the community and have our own home to enjoy. I really don't see that as remotely possible anymore."
Throughout my life I have known that life is not as it should be. Economic justice, racism, gender inequity, the environment, on and on and on. Yet I also believed we were making progress. We were reducing pollution. We were making strides with employment practices. We were enacting laws that, however clumsy or unequally enforced, were still attempts to make things better.
Microplastics? Forever chemicals? Good thing global warming isn't real and we'd be in danger. Last year as the congregation prepared for Creation Care Sunday I learned that 60% of young people across the world believe that the world will become uninhabitable in their lifetime. My son is among them.
How could so much progress be destroyed so very quickly and cavalierly? Okay, yes, whether at the midterms or some other point in the future the Democrats will return to power. At some point Christ will come again and set all things right. But, until that happens, the pain and destruction will continue and will grow. It will be years if not decades for much of the destruction to be repaired. And, when the Democrats DO return to power, will that pendulum swing just as hard in the opposite direction? Revenge and retribution attained, but at the yet further destruction of the nation? I see little human evidence it will be otherwise.
Many years ago it became clear to Rebecca and I that we will not have grandchildren. For a time that grieved us, not that we even pressured the kids.
Now, now I . . . am thankful that there will not be another generation of our family growing up in this nation. And my saying that makes me terribly sad.
Oh Jon the surrender of hope is a painful thing to grieve, but I understand.
I have no illusion . . . I'm just simply confused. BUT, strangely enough, that "feels" okay. It's part of (but not the whole) my saying that I'm an atheist (small "a" on purpose) but that I trust (pistis) Abba and abide in Christ. Maybe I'm just a mud-baby . . .
Michael. Yes. I wonder if we are all mud babies. No shame in the small a atheist. I often consider myself an agnostic as in the classical sense of without clear knowledge. I live by wonder. Thanks for reading and commenting